


Through the Fog

by cassidynoga



Category: Veronica Mars (TV), Veronica Mars - All Media Types
Genre: Duncan's POV
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-09
Updated: 2017-08-09
Packaged: 2018-12-13 10:52:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11758308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cassidynoga/pseuds/cassidynoga
Summary: A quick peak into Duncan's point of view. 1.03 (Meet John Smith). Cue the bleacher incident.Excerpt: "Sometimes Duncan wondered if he was the only one affected by this fog. His parents grieved, sure, but they managed somehow. Logan had become annoying, something Duncan noticed during his rare moments of clarity. And then there was Veronica. She seemed past it all – even him. She was over everything and kissing his friend and he couldn’t even remember what day it was without checking."





	Through the Fog

**Author's Note:**

> I've been sitting on this for a while, thinking that maybe I'd do something more with it... but let's be real, it's been a year and a half since I wrote it. I doubt anything will happen without some prompting. Enjoy!

Seeing Veronica kiss Troy – who, by the way, was supposed to be his friend – hurt. Not in the way that it hurt to see her right after his mom filled him in on her reasons that they couldn’t be together anymore. That was a very different kind of pain. This was… different. It was something he’d never experienced with Veronica before. This was confusion and jealousy and anger and sadness, all mixed together. Nothing made sense, and he couldn’t catch a break.

Sometimes Duncan wondered if he was the only one affected by this fog. His parents grieved, sure, but they managed somehow. Logan had become annoying, something Duncan noticed during his rare moments of clarity. And then there was Veronica. She seemed past it all – even him. She was over everything and kissing his friend and he couldn’t even remember what day it was without checking.

Maybe that’s what was bothering him. He’d finally decided that maybe living in a daze wasn’t the best way to deal with things, but clarity brought so much confusion. When had Logan started calling Veronica his _trailer park ex_? She didn’t live in a trailer park, did she? Duncan thought about that for a split second before realizing that he had no idea anymore.

He handed the flask back to Logan before attempting the flip stunt off the bleachers. It wasn’t something he ever would have done before – Veronica would have killed him if he’d put himself in danger like that. Maybe that’s why he did it, he thought briefly, as he flew through the air. Maybe it would still make her angry. Maybe she would still give a crap.

He hadn’t really counted on it not working. Before his life turned upside down, he would have done a little bit of planning before launching into something. After, well, it was all impulse. He couldn’t remember the last thing he’d actually planned out. His first thought after hitting the concrete was that _this_ was pain. It was weird feeling so many kinds of pain after six months of not feeling anything. Then Logan was shouting at him from above and Veronica was there, looking as concerned as he hoped she’d be.

“He needs to go to the hospital.” Her words were directed at Troy, but they hit Duncan. The hospital meant a call to his parents. This wasn’t going to end well.

He was quickly handed a towel and escorted to Veronica’s car. She was freaking out, sure, but it seemed… less than he expected. She seemed a little bit more removed from the situation and a little more focused on taking action.

“Death defying stunt? Gushing head wound? You’re the man, brother,” Troy was saying as they neared Veronica’s car. Duncan had taken to laughing, because it was the safest thing to do at the time.

“And I almost stuck the landing!” He quipped, sliding into the convertible as Veronica opened her door. If he kept laughing and making this a joke, he could use the throbbing pain to help him stay focused on the world around him.

“You sure you don’t want some help?” Troy was once again talking to Veronica, who was rushing to get her car started. Duncan tried to keep his emotions in check, so he removed the towel from the back of his head. He felt his eyebrows shoot up at the amount of blood on the towel.

“No, thanks, I got it,” he heard Veronica say as he moved to put the towel back. Relief washed over him, though he wasn’t quite sure why exactly. “Put your seatbelt on,” she said, sounding more in charge than he felt. “And hold the towel tighter!”

He complied with both requests – or orders, maybe – and saw Troy’s face fall as the teen moved away from the car. Duncan shot him a small grin – _women_ – as Veronica checked behind her and pulled out of the parking spot. He watched as Troy watched the car pull away, and Duncan felt bad for a second. His friend looked almost lost as he watched them go. The feeling passed as soon as they were out of the parking lot.

He turned to look at his ex-girlfriend. _Your sister_ , his brain reminded him. He pushed the thought back, knowing it wouldn’t help things any. He watched her for a couple seconds. She was focused, her face set. He couldn’t read her like he used to, and he wondered for a second when that had changed. _That’s what happens when you live in a fog_ , the voice in his head commented again. For a brief second, he thought that it sounded like Lilly, but he pushed that thought away, too, and just watched Veronica. It felt like one of his first clear moments in months, and he found himself wishing he could go back a year to the last time he was truly happy.

There had always been something special about the bond between Lilly and Veronica. Duncan had thought about it a few times, before he’d asked his sister’s best friend out. It was during their freshman year – Lilly’s sophomore year – that he’d started to realize just how much power the 09ers had. Sure, middle school was still run by the rich kids, but even he’d been surprised at how much more intense things were in high school. By all rights, he shouldn’t have been popular as a freshman. Yet he was, instantly, and no one questioned it for a second.

Veronica had also managed to get swept up by the in-crowd, but Duncan knew that was Lilly’s doing. His sister had told him many times over the years that Veronica Mars was the one person on this planet that she wanted to keep, no matter what. She’d always roll her eyes then – _aside from you, Donut_ , she’d add with a laugh, but he didn’t mind. He didn’t see it as a competition. It turned out that he was the only one who came even close to Veronica in Lilly’s mind. No one dared question the Kane heiress to her face, but Lilly was constantly icing someone for suggesting that maybe Veronica didn’t belong in their group. It stopped after a few months, but Duncan mulled it over for a while afterwards. He, unlike everyone else at their school, remembered when the girls became friends in the first place. It was before Kane Software went public, so the Kanes weren’t at the very top of the social ladder just yet. There weren’t girls throwing themselves at his sister, desperate to be her friend. No, Duncan remembered with a smile, those two went back to before money and popularity got in the way. Lilly had scanned the playground, locked her eyes on Veronica, and led Duncan over. _We should be best friends,_ Lilly had told the younger girl. Veronica had simply looked up and smiled. _Okay._

That was it. It had literally been as simple as that. When their parents had sat the Kane kids down to tell them that they could now and forever have whatever they wanted – phrased differently, of course, because they were still pretending to be decent parents – Lilly had left the room brimming with excitement at the idea of giving her best friend a really great birthday gift. When popularity became an issue, Lilly made sure that Veronica was her number one in everything. Duncan felt his heart ache; when Veronica had started talking about boys, Lilly had steered her towards the only boy Lilly felt measured up to her best friend: him. Naturally, when Duncan told his sister why he couldn’t date Veronica anymore, Lilly had narrowed her eyes, nodded, and continued to make sure that no one messed with the girl just because she and Duncan weren’t still a couple.

And then his sister had been murdered, and everyone turned against the one person that had probably loved her more than anyone. Lilly would have been furious at all of them.

Veronica glanced at him, but this time, he saw the worry on her face. He looked down, feeling a little guilty, and she looked away. He looked out the windshield for a second, gathering the courage that he never used to need around her. He removed the towel from his head, ignoring the fact that there was more blood than before, and turned to her.

“Remember how things used to be?” It was a shot in the dark, but he felt the memories wash over him as he asked. She had been all he could think about for the past couple days, and if he had to guess, it was because she was the last thing he remembered clearly. He found himself studying her as he waited for an answer. The short hair had surprised him, as had the change of clothes, but he kind of liked it. It reminded him less of his sister, in a way, because it was proof that she’d been as affected by the past year as he was.

He realized that she hadn’t answered. “Veronica?”

Instantly, he saw her walls go up. “Not really, no.” She glanced back at him, and it stunned him a little to see how pissed she looked. Her sharp tone was a little surprising as well. He was pretty sure she’d never spoken to him like that before.

He looked at her for a couple seconds longer. It was strange, but that hurt almost as much as seeing her kiss Troy. Maybe more. He felt his hopeful smile slip, and glanced back down at the towel. He blinked a couple times as he put it back against his head, trying not to let her words get to him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her glance at him, just for a second. He didn’t say anything else until they got to the hospital, but he wondered the whole time if she had been lying.

She stayed by him the whole time, from the reception desk to the brief moment in the waiting room to the little room they directed him into. Neither of them spoke; he didn’t dare say anything that might prompt her to leave. He knew that his dad had been called, but he hoped it would take a while before the man got there. He needed to think.

The nurse walked in just as he was convincing himself to say something. “Do you want your girlfriend to stay in here with you?”

He quickly glanced at Veronica, who stood with her arms crossed, waiting to see how she’d respond.

“Oh, I’m not his girlfriend…”

“Yeah! Yeah, that’s cool,” he said, realizing that it was a chance for her to leave and promptly cutting her off. He reached for her on impulse, catching himself just before his hand made contact with the small of her back. He glanced at Veronica with a smile, and she stared back at him. He hoped he’d have a moment to talk to her, now that they had both said _something_ , but just as she was starting to give him a soft smile, his dad walked in.

“Well here you are.” Duncan and Veronica both turned to look at him, and Duncan let out an inaudible sigh. “Veronica. We meet again.” His dad took a few steps towards him and attempted to remove the ice pack. Duncan complied as Veronica spoke up.

“What are the odds?”

“Veronica brought me in,” he said in as pointed of a tone as he could get away with. His father’s eyes snapped up in surprise. The older man looked pained.

“Thank you, Veronica,” he said. Duncan saw her nod. “I think I can handle it from here.” His heart sunk. Of course. She was being dismissed, and there wasn’t anything he could do to get her to stay.

Still, he kept his eyes locked on her, hoping that she realized this wasn’t his idea.

“Okay. I have stuff to do anyway, so…” she stumbled over her words a little and gestured out the door, but hesitated slightly before moving away. Duncan felt himself nod slightly. He wanted to reach out and pull her close. He knew that he had to believe his mother, just in case she was right, but that didn’t mean he had to stop caring about the girl. In fact, if his mom _was_ right, it gave him even more of a reason to care about her.

Duncan watched as she walked towards the door. He watched as she turned back to him, an expression that he couldn’t quite read on her face. He gave her a little bit of a smile, but he knew it didn’t reach his eyes. That’s what they said, right? It’s not real unless it reaches your eyes? Add it to the list of things he hadn’t done in a while.

She turned back to the door, and he looked down, both in pain and because he couldn’t take it to see her actually walk away. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thoughts? Comments? Suggestions? Let me know!


End file.
